My husband is silently snoring the next room over. The sun awoke me early and I found myself drawn to the peaceful quiet of the living room. After scrummaging through the little rental house kitchen, I discovered tea and honey, which I made quickly in an adorable mug and then cuddled up on the comfortable couch with a book. It’s peaceful, it’s quiet, it’s exactly what my soul needed.

When I was a younger, I dreamed about being a stay-at-home mom. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and thinking back on having my mom at home with us when I was a child, it seemed perfect. Then one day, I became a mom. Just over six years ago. And I discovered it was way harder than anyone ever let on. At the time I was still working and loved my job, but balancing work life, mom life, and home life was incredibly hard. Jump a few years and another kid later, and I left my job to invest more in my kiddos. And I learned something.

Being a stay-at-home mom is legit hard. Some people thrive being with their kids all day…that’s not me unfortunately. And I’ve realized why. I’m an introvert, and my dear, sweet, chatty, social six-year-old is not. He thrives being around people, it energizes him. I love people too, and I love being around “my” people, but afterwards I need some quiet to recharge my soul. Give me a good book, a comfy spot and I’m a happy girl. Over the last school year we found our rhythm with the kiddos in preschool and PreK in the mornings, and me with three mornings a week alone. I discovered who I was and what I needed to be the best mom, wife and friend I could be. I took time to actually care for my own self. Listening to my body and my soul, figuring out what I needed to be healthy in all the different ways. I was in a good groove.

Then summer came.

And I’ve been in a weird place. A place where I love spending time with my kids, especially before the oldest moves on to elementary school in just a few precious weeks, but also where I’m so exhausted and drained that I feel cranky and depleted and I’m snapping at my kids more than I should. They deserve better. I deserve better.

So this morning, this beautiful first morning away from my adorable, energetic kiddos, I’m going to soak up some quiet. Listening to the birds chirp, enjoy the sun starting to stream through the windows, drink my warm tea and snuggle up with a book. And then after, enjoy a few days alone with my sweet husband.

It’s hard as a mom to take care of yourself, but if you hit that spot where you are a cranky mom like me, take a little time and recharge. Your kids will be better for it later. Mine always are.